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| Cone of Shame |
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| Will someone get this for me? |
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| Aye! |
Thursday, December 8, 2011
My Three Favorite Pictures
I burst out laughing so so so hard at these. I hope you enjoy them. :-)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Grenada Post Office Moment
My sweet Momma sent me a package for my birthday (which was October 12, about 7 weeks ago). I expected it to get here, oh I dunno, the end of November.
After my birthday, I asked my office-landlady's-assistant-girl which neighborhood post office I should go to if I had a package to pick up. She told me that I wouldn't even have to worry about it: she would get the phone call from the office and she would pick it up for me! Cool!
And November came and went.
Ugh.
Could it be that maybe those jerks kept my package!
So, I finally got fed up and just CALLED the Post Office myself. And the lady's like "Yah! You've got one!"
ACK! If you want something done right, you better do it yourself!
So I bussed over there, terrified of them telling me this package is going to cost $240 or something. I began to feel like I was going to an audition. And all my ex-boyfriends were the judges. Yikes! I took out the big bills of my wallet, just in case I'd have to put on a big show: "Oh, I don't have $50! I only have a $20! That's all I have!" (cue back of hand to forehead)
So I waltzed in there, in my nasty gym clothes (wearing them helps the drunk men sober up enough to recoil) and got the attention of the lady behind the counter. She was actually nice & efficient (by Grenada standards), and it only cost $5.75 EC ($2.14 US)! I got the feeling that the post office folks didn't hate me, but wanted me out of there. Fine by me!
Inside the little box, were Dove chocolates (that were gone two days ago), a birthday card, and a nice, specialized fiber supplement I asked for. I was tickled pink!
Here's the clencher: I think the date of arrival was written on the box: 10-21-11. Sigh.
After my birthday, I asked my office-landlady's-assistant-girl which neighborhood post office I should go to if I had a package to pick up. She told me that I wouldn't even have to worry about it: she would get the phone call from the office and she would pick it up for me! Cool!
And November came and went.
Ugh.
Could it be that maybe those jerks kept my package!
So, I finally got fed up and just CALLED the Post Office myself. And the lady's like "Yah! You've got one!"
ACK! If you want something done right, you better do it yourself!
So I bussed over there, terrified of them telling me this package is going to cost $240 or something. I began to feel like I was going to an audition. And all my ex-boyfriends were the judges. Yikes! I took out the big bills of my wallet, just in case I'd have to put on a big show: "Oh, I don't have $50! I only have a $20! That's all I have!" (cue back of hand to forehead)
So I waltzed in there, in my nasty gym clothes (wearing them helps the drunk men sober up enough to recoil) and got the attention of the lady behind the counter. She was actually nice & efficient (by Grenada standards), and it only cost $5.75 EC ($2.14 US)! I got the feeling that the post office folks didn't hate me, but wanted me out of there. Fine by me!
Inside the little box, were Dove chocolates (that were gone two days ago), a birthday card, and a nice, specialized fiber supplement I asked for. I was tickled pink!
Here's the clencher: I think the date of arrival was written on the box: 10-21-11. Sigh.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving Week, Part 3/3. Overall, a successful dinner!
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| Appetizer - slash - Lunch |
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| Dough that's becoming rolls... |
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| Chicken with minced onion & garlic, pre-cooked |
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| Rolls in the oven, for the dough's third rising |
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| Sigh, all your hard work is making me tired... |
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| Halfway done! :-) |
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| All the way done, and half-way gone |
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| My salad, roll, and chicken breast. Yum! |
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| With butternut squash soup! |
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving Week, Part Two
Wednesday: Make Pumpkin Pie! Boil potatoes, defrost chicken.
Sigh, the infamous pumpkin pie. I got everything out before I realized I didn't have a rolling pin. Blurg! Or a shortening cutter. Double blurg! I made twice the amount of pie crust that I needed, making plenty of room for error.
Sigh, the infamous pumpkin pie. I got everything out before I realized I didn't have a rolling pin. Blurg! Or a shortening cutter. Double blurg! I made twice the amount of pie crust that I needed, making plenty of room for error.
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| Tried the white/green plastic plate as a rolling pin, but no cigar... |
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| ... But the potato masher was an incredible shortening cutter! |
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| Here is my invention of a rolling pin: off-brand Pam wrapped in plastic wrap. |
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| Success! Thank you Alton Brown for the plastic wrap idea! |
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| Lots of drama to get to this point. I'm glad I made lot-sa crust! |
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| Almost done! Looks... okay. |
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| After a long time of trying that cool finger-pinching thing my mom does to her pie crusts, I forked it! Ugh, now it looks like a trashy diner's chicken pot pie. Oh well. |
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| Don't tell me nutmeg isn't in the recipe for the pumpkin part! I will not have it! It will be freshly grated in the batter regardless! |
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| My moment of anxiety: Did I halve this recipe? Will all this batter fit in my pie crust? |
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| Oh good! Yes it will! |
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| Pie in the oven, chopped potatoes in the water... |
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| Ugh, here's my non-Moonshine yam. It's supposed to be orange! Blurg. |
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| Finished pie product! I hope it's good tomorrow! |
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thanksgiving Week! Part One of... lots more posts
So!!
I decided to make Thanksgiving Dinner for Ryan and me--ALL BY MYSELF! On account of being far away from family, friends, and Momma's stuffing. This is a rare time when a 25-year-old Mormon granddaughter can learn everything and won't be discouraged from participating in the large extended family pot-luck.
And my rule for this series is: I will not proofread-slash-edit-slash-filter my experiences. It will be difficult. I am a Public Relations undergraduate, notwithstanding. Even though this is a fabulous opportunity for me to display to you all how glorious-slash-talented I am in the kitchen. (Oops, that was filtered, I guess.) This series will show my bumps in the Caribbean Road to Thanksgiving.
I figured this can't be too intense: I have an unlimited supply of free time, knowledge of my kitchen equipment's limits, an easy-going husband, and a neurotic, finish-WELL-in-advance personality.
The Menu:
Monday: Organization Day, Splurge Day. (85% successful)
I decided to make Thanksgiving Dinner for Ryan and me--ALL BY MYSELF! On account of being far away from family, friends, and Momma's stuffing. This is a rare time when a 25-year-old Mormon granddaughter can learn everything and won't be discouraged from participating in the large extended family pot-luck.
And my rule for this series is: I will not proofread-slash-edit-slash-filter my experiences. It will be difficult. I am a Public Relations undergraduate, notwithstanding. Even though this is a fabulous opportunity for me to display to you all how glorious-slash-talented I am in the kitchen. (Oops, that was filtered, I guess.) This series will show my bumps in the Caribbean Road to Thanksgiving.
I figured this can't be too intense: I have an unlimited supply of free time, knowledge of my kitchen equipment's limits, an easy-going husband, and a neurotic, finish-WELL-in-advance personality.
The Menu:
- Chicken
- (settle down! A small turkey costs $60-100 EC here. A chicken the same size costs $21)
- Rolls
- Must be part or mostly wheat, requires no bread maker in recipe equipment
- Butternut Squash Soup
- Should be problem-free... I've made it before...
- Candied Yams for me, Mashed Potatoes for Ryan
- Ryan's a potato tramp, so I'm an expert. I've candied yams once, two years ago... yikes!
- Spinach Salad
- a foodie's wet dream: Poppy Seeds in the dressing, and bacon!!
- Stuffing
- Ick. Pillar of Salt. I'm gonna make one serving, then throw it away. If it's not Mom's stuffing, I'm not eating it.
- Pumpkin Pie
- Pie crust from scratch. Never been done before by me. I'm partially terrified. And I have no pastry cutter!
- Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread
- Strictly for friends. I have no self-control with things like this. Meaning, I think I could eat an entire loaf in 1 hour, and not feel that bad about it.
Monday: Organization Day, Splurge Day. (85% successful)
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| Before shaken: looks like Chewey's sick. |
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| After shaken: yummy dressing, permeating in opium. |
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| Squash cooking in oven! |
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| Squash (taken out of the microwave to finish cooking) to be mashed and blended. |
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| Finished product, ready to be stored away! Hopefully letting it sit for so long will increase the spices. |
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| Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread in oven.... |
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| Oh, this picture's much better |
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| My yam! There was also a brand of yam called Moon Shine. Maybe I should've bought one of those just in case the dinner went for the worst.... ? Whew! Now off to bed and have visions of pie crusts dancing in my head... |
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Mystery of Junk Mail...
I have much time on my hands here in Grenada.
(I know this the first time all of you have learned this.)
With this time, I've tried to master areas of fitness, yoga-teaching, nutrition, and homemaking. There is also plenty of time for long, drawn-out conversations about ethics, philosophy, politics, law, and religion with spouse, friends, and acquaintances.
But right now, my pondering turn to my Spam or Junk Mail.
There is something, I wonder, about my Internet identity. I seem to be recieving mail from:
This garbage must be very easy to send. And it must be profitable.
Weird. I guess "there's a sucker born every minute."
(I know this the first time all of you have learned this.)
With this time, I've tried to master areas of fitness, yoga-teaching, nutrition, and homemaking. There is also plenty of time for long, drawn-out conversations about ethics, philosophy, politics, law, and religion with spouse, friends, and acquaintances.
But right now, my pondering turn to my Spam or Junk Mail.
There is something, I wonder, about my Internet identity. I seem to be recieving mail from:
- Wen Hair Care: "What Wen formula are you?"
- Local Hookup: "You have been invited to hook up for sex"
- The Scooter Store: "Looking for a Power Chair or scooter?"
- Men's Health: "Get 6-pack Abs by December!"
This garbage must be very easy to send. And it must be profitable.
Weird. I guess "there's a sucker born every minute."
Monday, November 14, 2011
Pills? Or No Pills? That is the Question...
It is an averse thing to experience one's body secrete its own life source in response to a minor infection.
It is a doubly averse thing that this response is also occurring during the specific secretion process in which one's body possibly rejects another human soul.
I am quite incredulous towards this offensive and cruel irony of extreme counter-productivity and weakness. To endure the pain of the body is honey compared to enduring the pain of weakness and an insufficient defense.
I'm told these small, white pills will temper the minor infection into nothing. However, it will enhance the many premature and explosive effects of such said latter rejection process.
Honey is easily hidden, but unleashing the angry swarm of bees will surely expose all.
Now I ask:
Is it better to entertain one's hubris of staying face and not bring to pass the End of the World before humanity's time, than to succumb to the authority of hundreds of years of research and medical practice?
To take the pills, or not take the pills, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
These secretions are definitely a sea of troubles.
It is a doubly averse thing that this response is also occurring during the specific secretion process in which one's body possibly rejects another human soul.
I am quite incredulous towards this offensive and cruel irony of extreme counter-productivity and weakness. To endure the pain of the body is honey compared to enduring the pain of weakness and an insufficient defense.
I'm told these small, white pills will temper the minor infection into nothing. However, it will enhance the many premature and explosive effects of such said latter rejection process.
Honey is easily hidden, but unleashing the angry swarm of bees will surely expose all.
Now I ask:
Is it better to entertain one's hubris of staying face and not bring to pass the End of the World before humanity's time, than to succumb to the authority of hundreds of years of research and medical practice?
To take the pills, or not take the pills, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
These secretions are definitely a sea of troubles.
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