Survival Techniques From an Ironically-Uptight Yoga Instructor

If you're just having one of those massively-chaotic days, I recommend these life-saving quick fixes and long-term sanity maintainance techniques:

4 Life-Saving Quick Fixes

• Thinking about Johnny Depp "arriving for story time [at children's hospitals] in full Captain Jack Sparrow costume—and stayed in character while reading stories for four hours."
• Listening to In the Hall of the Mountain King
• Recalling the part in Three Amigos during El Guapo's birthday party and he grins: "It's a sweater!!!"
• Smiling. Smiling like an idiot. (You can get away with anything if you smile sincerely; this comes from years in the food service business.)

3 Long-Term Sanity Maintenance

• Kindle!! Buy a Kindle, keep it in your purse. I know, major product promo, but it saved my brain from self-destruction after 45 minutes in line at the local bank and that random broad cutting in line.
• Running shoes. Or gym shoes. It must be some kind of attire that is strictly for a heart rate increasing activity, and that gets you out of the house. Afterwards, you'll feel like the world is (as they say in Grenada) "not too bad."
• Friends on speed-dial. Enough said. :-)